Some groomers say a lot of crap in their ads. Here's what they really mean:
"No Tranquilizers"--No shit they don't use tranquilizers! Only vets can administer them. By the way, my gardener doesn't do open heart surgery, either.
"Veterinarian Recommended"--This means they're friends with some vets. We are too. We've even invited ours over for some barbecues, but our customers recommend us, too. By the way, I smoke some bad-ass ribs.
"Over 10 years experience"-Quality groomers do quality work that speaks for itself. Could mean they've done a great job for 10 years, or could mean they've been hacks for a really long time. The proof is in the puddin'! You can look at pictures of their work, too, but do you really think they'll show you a picture of a dog they screwed up? We wouldn't. We know what great work looks like.
"Certified This and That"-This could mean they're world-class (like one highly respected friend of ours down the road in Newark--wink, wink) or that they've paid to take some classes. Show us your work, not your Certificate of Participation. Did I mention I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night?
"All Breeds Welcome"-This is to reassure you that they'll try to groom your dog. If he's a vicious freak they'll still send you somewhere else or require sedation. We will too.
"Hydro-Surge Bathing"-This is a pump system set up to recirculate the shampoo water. Conserves water/shampoo and has great pressure for blasting out dirt. IT ALSO RECIRCULATES THAT DIRT! That's just NASTY. What if your dog rolled in poop? We have a unique system that mixes the shampoo in a pressurized stream of FRESH water. Smart people pee in the shower, not the bath.
"Gentle Touch/Loving Hands, etc."-Everyone says that. Thankfully, it's usually true. We're dog lovers, too. We have 6 dogs at home and have never needed to use duct tape on any of them (YET!).
"Saturday Appointments Available"-Bankruptcy, anybody? Of course we're all open on the busiest day of the week. We're even open 7 days a week because that's convenient for you! Early, too, so you can drop off before work.
"Specialty Shampoos Available"-You mean there's more than one? Well, we have a shampoo or conditioner for everything but ugliness and we know what works. Just tell us what ails your dog.
So next time a groomer tries to educate you about something, tell them you've already heard it from Precious Paws. Our barbecue-loving Veterinarian recommends us because our Certified Groomers have many Years of Experience & don't use Tranquilizers. We'll gladly use our Gentle, Loving Hands to apply any Specialty Shampoo you want to whatever Breed dog you have, even on a Saturday. We just won't use that nasty old Hydro-Surge!